Dear Tryst:

I had been trysting with my secretary for about six months when I really put my foot in it.

The affair I’d been having with my secretary (let’s just call her Jane) was far more sexually adventurous then the relations (or lack thereof) I was having with my wife. Wanting to take it up a notch, I visited a local sex shop, intent on buying Jane some role-playing gear. I had always liked the idea of seducing a naughty nurse, so I purchased a barely there vinyl nurse uniform for her. I took my purchase up to the cash register, and was asked if this was for a special occasion. “We can gift wrap and deliver the package for you,” she said. What a great idea, I thought. I’d have it sent to her Saturday afternoon, with instructions for her to wear it when I came to her house that evening. So, with visions of sponge baths and complete physicals running rampant in my head, I jotted down the address for the cashier and left, congratulating myself on such a masterful surprise.

The appointed Saturday finally arrived, and I spent the morning running around, getting the necessary supplies our evening required. When I finally came home, my wife was waiting for me in the living room, an enraged look painted on her face and a familiar-looking parcel unwrapped on the floor.

“What the hell is this?” she exploded, throwing the contents of the package in my face. I guess I was so wrapped up in my fantasy, I had given the cashier my home address instead of Jane’s. Panicked, I started thinking of excuses, trying to come up with reasons why I was having the affair. Before I could stammer any of them out, she screamed, “Do you think I would actually wear this?” After calming her down with hurried apologies, she suggested that I needed to think about the consequences of my actions by spending a few days at a motel. Without seeming to be too eager, a packed a few essentials – including the nurse uniform – and hastily beat a retreat to Jane’s house. Not only did I escape a costly divorce, I also had the most incredible four days of non-stop sex with an extremely naughty nurse.