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Archive for the ‘Tryst Humor’ Category

Wednesday
Oct 15,2014

5 reasons to date a zombie this Halloween

Because sometimes, we’re all tired of playing hard to get. We just want someone who really wants us 😉

Here’s 5 reasons to date a zombie this Halloween season:

  1. Your zombie lover just wants your body. You don’t need to feel self conscious about eating that extra doughnut with coffee this morning.
  2. They’re not picking when it comes to food.
  3. Zombies are patient. Slow and steady wins the race. They have all the time in the world.
  4. Zombies are ambitious. They know what the want, and have their eye(s) on the prize.
  5. They’re always interested.
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  • Tuesday
    Mar 20,2012

    MAGOG, QUE.—A couple’s romantic Valentine’s Day tryst unexpectedly wound up as a ménage à trois — the added participant being the local police.

    Plans for a naughty night involving handcuffs went awry when the couple realized they’d lost the key. It eventually fell upon the man to make an awkward phone call to law-enforcement authorities, requesting help to free the woman.

    Police in southeastern Quebec received the call Wednesday morning, the day after Valentine’s. They believe the woman had been stuck there for hours.

    But they’re not sure, precisely, how long it had been: “We didn’t ask,” said a police spokesman.

    http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/1132681–valentine-s-day-tryst-in-quebec-ends-in-embarrassing-call-to-police

     

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  • When They Find Out About The Tryst

    Thursday
    Sep 8,2011

    So, what happens when your significant other finds out about your tryst? Here’s one way to handle it…

     

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  • Thursday
    Jan 13,2011

    We asked our favorite Trysters what was the most outrageous thing they have said or done to get into someone’s pants. Here are a few gems:

    The most outrageous thing I’ve ever done to get into someone’s pants was when I asked my girlfriend’s mother if she would take a naked picture of me so I could give it to her daughter, as a funny Christmas gift that I`m sure would surprise her. Her mother happily agreed and was excited to have a chance to see me naked – in fact she even offered to fluff me before we took the pictures. Once her daughter opened her gift on Christmas morning and saw that the photo was taken in their living room she couldn’t wait to invite me over for dinner that night. After dinner she took me to her bedroom and attacked me, in a really good way! –Tedd

    I streaked a girls hair, gave her a manicure and pedicure and a massage, but it back fired and the girl was too relaxed. After five minutes she went to sleep – least that’s what I hope was the reason… –Frank

    I had a girl jokingly tell me that anything short of stripping down naked and streaking for a mile would just be lazy, cheap, and unworthy attempt by me for sex. To her surprise I immediately agreed to those terms. To make sure I actually completed the jog, instead of running around the corner and hiding in a bush for ten minutes, she drove her car next to me until she had clocked a mile on her odometer. We agreed that after a mile I could jump in the car and she would drive me back. She thought it would be funnier to see how far I could go instead of telling me when the mile was finished. She let me run two and a half miles before filling me in on her joke. I had to catch my breath, rest for an hour, and take a shower first but the sex was worth it. –Justin

    I introduced myself to a sleek redhead in LaJolla, CA and wanted her to have lunch with me. She said she had to go to work, and when I asked where, she mentioned a timeshare sales office near where we were. I found it on my own, talked myself into the meeting, and listened to the presentation. She came out with other salespeople, saw me, and we did a “how about that coincidence” chat. I bought a one week condo on condition that she would take me to dinner… she said ok, and she was one of the sexiest women I’ve been to bed with. The next day she said she was married, so that was that. — Victor

    I taught her how to drive a tractor-trailer, over-the-road, coast-to-coast semi. It worked! Of course this was before I was happily married. Now she is an accomplished semi driver! –Chris

    In Tryst We Trust

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  • Worst Trysts Ever!

    Tuesday
    Jul 13,2010

    Everybody has a worst date story. Here are some that made us laugh out loud – although we’re sure that when they happened to these Trysters, they weren’t laughing.

    My worse date was with a guy who after each bite of his food would belch or “mmmmm” to either make room for more or show his dislike for the food!  The worst thing was we were in a high-end restaurant and I wanted to crawl under the carpet… to hell with just crawling under the table! –Sandra

    The worst date I ever had was with this guy was so eager to meet me he came after work in his dirty work clothes and was so excited to get here, he forgot his dentures  and was 8 hrs early!  When I went to meet him for an early morning coffee (he woke me at 6 am and wanted to meet for coffee) I went without makeup or a shower.  When I got there, I found out he was 3-inches shorter than he said he was! We never spoke again.  — Leanne

    I had been over to a gal pal’s house and I had a major crush on her. We were getting pretty friendly but for some reason I had to go home.  I was pretty sure I could have nailed her that night too – my bad. So we were pretty hot the next week.  I picked her up after dark one night and figured we’d be screwing in 5 minutes. Suddenly, she rolled the window down and began to puke. She puked enough for 3 people, as a matter of fact. She then was feverish and I took her home. She was sick, I was not longer interested, I didn’t get laid, and my car and clothes stunk. — Tim

    Man!!! The worst date (or maybe best date) I ever had was when this girl and I (we were 19 years old at the time) ended up really drunk on this huge bed. Well one thing let to another, and the next thing I know I’m pounding her doggie-style. Then I looked around while in the midst of the action, and noticed some guns in their holsters hanging on the bed mantle. Come on – what are you supposed to think when you’re pounding a 19 year old doggie-style on a huge bed? I know what I was thinking; and it wasn’t thoughts of whose bed this really was. Later, I found out it was her daddy’s bed, and at the moment of realization, a big tan truck pulled up in the drive way and she totally FREAKED in a bad way. I didn’t even ask who it might be, I just got up and started running for my life. Well, I don’t know about you, but trying to run for your life and being totally plastered at the same time just don’t work! I must have ran into every piece of furniture in the house at full speed, and finally busted down this glass sliding door trying to get far from that house. I woke up that afternoon in my bed naked and bleeding, with broken glass lodged all over my body. I’m glad to say that I’ve been sober coming on 5 years in May. — Allen

    When this guy picked me up for our date, I told him that I was hungry.  He pulled up to McDonald and parked. I waited a few seconds and then got out of the car to pay for my own food when it was clear he wasn’t going to. I told him that I could walk home – I needed to calm down. — Amy

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