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Nov 12,2015

Finishing a hot and well-deserved romp with your affair partner can leave you in a haze, but never forget to cover your tracks. Here are a couple things to remember when you’re heading out or heading home after an affair.


Maintain Confidentiality

If you want to be successful at having affairs and keep your mistress secret, you need to keep it to yourself. That means you can’t tell your best friend, your office mates, or even the barista at the coffee shop near your house. No one. It doesn’t matter if it’s your friend’s-friend’s sister or that random you met at a party once. Your lips are sealed. This way, they do not have to lie for you since they don’t know.


Use Protection

Condoms, diaphrams, spermicide, and birth control. These are your new best friends. There is nothing worse than an unplanned baby or some burning-dischargey mess that will definitely get you caught.



Before you start your fling, begin Febreezing your car and clothes, so that the Febreeze smell becomes a regular scent for your vehicle and person. This way, when you come home from affair-sex or want to get the smell of sex out of your car, the smell of Febreeze won’t raise any suspicions.


Pictures or Video

There is nothing more stupid than taking pictures or videos of anything you do with your affair partner. This pretty much undoes everything you’ve done to cover up your tracks, because now there is actual visual evidence of your infidelity.


Soap and Showering

Whatever soap you are using at home, you need to bring extra to use for the after sex shower. If you don’t, your partner will notice the difference in smell. If you don’t have the luxury of showering after, you need to shower at home or go to the gym and then shower there.

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  • Tuesday
    Oct 13,2015

    Choosing the place to start your tryst is as important as where you finish. Keep in mind you should probably stay mostly hands off until you’re somewhere more private in case someone you know sees you. Here are some places to meet your affair partner:


    Concert or Show

    Going to a concert or a show is a fun and readily available entertainment choice for any cheater. These are great public places for private meetings. You can even buy your tickets separately and coordinate to be seated together. Even though it may be crowded, you will mostly be in the dark so you don’t have to worry too much about snitching eyes.


    Large Casino

    A large casino is a great place to meet your affair partner because there are tons of different things to do even if you don’t enjoy gambling. Many casinos have shows or concerts going on for entertainment, as well as restaurants to eat at. After dinner, you can drink at the bar or head over to the lounge for some cocktails. At a large casino there are lots of great places for some private time, because we’re sure you’ll want some of that.


    In the Car

    Before heading home for the night, have a quickie in the car with your affair partner. Find somewhere to park and you’re golden. Make sure to Febreeze your car so it doesn’t smell like sex in there. Or if it’s windy, you can drive with the windows down for a half hour.


    Cheap Motel

    Cheap motels are the place to go if you’re looking for something quick and dirty. They have your essentials: 4 walls and a bed. Also, a shower, but it’s up to you if you want to use it. While not all cities and towns have a 4+ star hotel, most of them do have cheap motels.


    4 Star Hotel

    A 4 star hotel is the one stop shop for cheating. Even though it may be more expensive than some of the other options, you can enjoy the facilities and activities the hotel has to offer. You can go for a swim, relax in the sauna, and let things get a little steamy in the hot tub. If you’re hungry, there’s good food and room service to take advantage of. The best part of going to a higher end hotel is that you have entertainment, food, and a place to stay the night.


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  • Sunday
    Sep 13,2015

    Dating profiles are a tricky thing to master. They’re essentially your calling card. If someone wants to see if you’re a potential match for them, they’ll pore over your dating profile before deciding.


    Don’t Put Down Online Dating

    Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. If your profile contains any “I don’t usually do this” or something that indicates you feel “online dating is sketchy” or for people who can’t find dates in real life, then no one is going to contact you. When you use these kind of statements, you make yourself seem unapproachable because you aren’t really into online dating anyway.


    Don’t Leave Things Blank

    If you can’t put the time in to fill out a dating profile, which is usually checking off boxes and occasionally writing a couple sentence, then it’s hard to expect other people to take the time to contact you. People are looking for legitimacy when online dating, and filling out your profile is one of the small things you can do to build that.


    Don’t Ramble

    On the flip side of leaving things blank, some of us are guilty of rambling. If your profile has too much information, then it won’t be given much attention either. Browse a couple of profiles to find the appropriate amount of text to include. If there is a field to type in a paragraph answer, we would recommend limiting your answer to 3-4 sentences.


    Don’t Overshare

    Keep in mind the people reading your profile will mostly be strangers. This means it is unwise to include any of the information regarding your home address and place of work. Similarly, your last name, phone number, or other means of contact on social media is also not a good idea. In the case you someone you haven’t met or rather not meet tries to contact you, you have the option to give them this information or keep it to yourself.


    Don’t Lie

    Do not lie about your age, weight, height or anything else for that matter. This will only get you into trouble, when someone you’re talking to wants to meet up or cam. There is no amount of back peddling that can fix how you’ve changed so drastically, and it will only end in disappointment for both of you. Don’t pretend you have a better job or that you’re in it for the long or short haul if you aren’t. Even if you capture someone’s interest this way, it will only be temporary unless you’re truthful.

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  • Saturday
    Aug 15,2015

    We’ve covered some basic tips for your dating profile to help you out, but it’s about time we focused a little more on how to score that first date. Good pictures, selective messaging, and asking effective questions are great things to incorporate into your online dating formula.


    Good Pictures

    We all know the saying a picture is worth a thousand words and in the world of online dating this has never been truer. Your photos should be recent and clearly show what you look like, because people are not going to want to meet up with someone who doesn’t even want to show their face. You should always choose quality over quantity. Having a lot of poor quality photos can do more damage than you know. It is better to have a few good pictures.


    Selective Messaging

    Online dating is not the same as online shopping. When you’re browsing for a new couch, you can pick out whatever you like and it can be yours. Online dating is more complicated because you’re both the shopper. Both parties have to be interested. Before you send a message to your potential date, make sure that you fit the bill for them too. Even though you could be the greatest person alive, this doesn’t automatically mean you’re the best match for them. Check to see if you’re in their desired age range, gender, and have common interests. Otherwise, you will waste time sending them a message when you could never have scored a date to begin with.


    Ask Questions Effectively

    Dating sites have thousands of people to choose from, which is great in theory. However, it also means that you will be competing for space in the inbox and need to grab your potential date’s attention quickly. An interesting subject line and message is an absolute must. This means you need to read their profile and see what they like. Don’t ask them what they like to do for fun or if they would interested in dating someone like you. Chances are they already filled out that information on their profile, and you have proven that you didn’t take the time to read it. What you can do is ask more specific questions about their interests. If they say they like action movies, you can ask them if they like another specific action movie.


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  • Thursday
    Jul 16,2015

    Lying and cheating go hand in hand. Even if you come up with the perfect plan to cheat on your spouse and you’ve gathered the courage to do it, you still need to be able to lie effectively to hide your affair. Here are couple ways to be mindful of your body language, so your affair stays under wraps.


    Speech Speed

    You’ve heard of liars being synonymous with quick talkers, but there’s a reason for that. Everyone’s speech speed fluctuates during speaking, but a liar’s speech will speed up or slow down within the same sentence. Usually, a liar’s speech will speed up as they figure out the lie and try to get it out as fast as possible. This means you should figure out your answer before you even start to answer, and be mindful of increases in your speed of speech for the delivery.


    Tripping on Words

    Keeping track of all the lies can be a tricky business. Novice liars may start-stop their sentences, or switch up and drop pronouns when trying to recount a fictitious tale. To take your lie-game to the next level, make sure you think carefully about what you’re trying to say before saying it.


    One Foot Out the Door

    The expression one foot out the door has some truth to it. People point their feet towards their objects of interest. So, if your partner is discussing redecorating plans for the living room with you and your feet are pointing towards the front door, you’re telling them you’ve got one foot out the door. Lying about being interested in a conversation requires more than just saying the right thing. Your body needs to do some lying too. The next time you find yourself disengaged, realign your feet to pretend like you care. Point them towards your partner or whatever objects you may be discussing.

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  • Friday
    Jun 12,2015

    The rush of forbidden acts. The longing that comes from waiting. Here are 4 ways that affair sex trumps sex with your wife or husband.


    Everything is new and exciting

     Just like how kids get sick of playing with the same old toys, even though they might have an old favorite, it’s hard to resist the allure of something shiny and new. With an affair partner, everything is new again. The way their body feels, the way they smell, the way they laugh. The intrigue of meeting someone new comes from the air of mystery. You don’t’ know how they are going to taste or how it feels to hold their hand. With your partner, these things are old news. The best part about having an affair partner is that they can be replaced, with some work.


    New places to do the dirty

    The game of cheating hearts is not for the unimaginative. Since you can’t bring your affair partner around to any place your partner might frequent, you have to get a little creative with where to meet up. Think of how great hotel sex is, and then imagine having that every time you see your affair partner. The excitement comes from having sex in a new place, and that’s pretty much all you’re doing with your new sex partner. Go on and enjoy!


    Explore your fantasies

    When you’re in a long and stable relationship, it can be difficult to sexually try new things, because you and your partner have likely developed some sort of routine-sex that might be pretty vanilla by now. The hard part is bringing up new things to try for fear of feeling vulnerable and being judged. When you have an affair, trying out new fantasies are often easier. In an affair, you are more carefree and that means in bed too. You can express your desires and fantasies without being worried about rejection because you’re not going to spend the rest of your life with them anyway. Give threesomes, sex games, role playing, or BDSM a try. There’s tons of ways to spice up your sex life.


    No emotional baggage

    Sometimes out-of-bed problems can find their way into they bedroom anyway. Problems with finance, relationship issues, or just one too kids’ birthday parties can tire you out and leave you ambivalent to having sex with your partner. Time spent away from your family and with your affair partner instead is more free and easy. You don’t have the awkwardness of your last disagreement, the everyday nagging, and the endless to-do lists looming over you. It’s no wonder the sex is better.

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  • Friday
    May 15,2015

    Since we posted last month about mistresses you might want to steer clear of, we thought it would be good timing to follow up with a list of misters to avoid. Remember, it’s your call and consider yourself warned. Be selective and you can have a great time.


    Lives With His Parents

    While we can be understanding of someone who is down on their luck or is an exemplary son who takes care of their elderly parents, this mister is just not affair-partner material. If he’s living with his parents to save money, then chances are your dates are going to be quite lackluster. Let’s face it, we’re already financially-conscious on dates with our life-partner, why should our affair-partner dates be hindered the same way? If he’s living with his parents for some “good son” reason, then it sounds like he’s got issues we don’t want to deal with.



    This mister is trouble if there are unresolved feelings for your ex. Just because this mister looks like him doesn’t mean he’s anything like him, but sometimes it’s hard not to project when there are some leftover feelings. Avoid the mess by staying away from this ex-lookalike.



    Like the ex-lookalike, the husband-lookalike may bring unwanted negativity and emotions to your affair. One of the perks of having an affair is that you get to be whisked away from everyday life, so why date someone who looks like your husband? Sounds like you need to stay away from this mister too.


    Overly Attached Mister

    This mister might seem like a good candidate for an affair at first. He notices all the small things you do that your husband takes for granted. He probably offers massages, but doesn’t ask for them back. Watch out for this mister, because he seems like a sensitive and caring man until you want to break things off. The overly attached mister will likely still call or “accidentally” run into you. Who wants to deal with this kind of drama? Not us! So, say goodbye to this mister.

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  • Monday
    Apr 13,2015

    As with any other relationship, there are just some people you want to avoid. You know the ones we’re talking about. The girl who leaves you 7 missed calls because she is just checking in. The girl who still calls you when you broke up more than a year ago. Let’s not forget the girl who posts sad status updates about you on Facebook. Make sure you avoid these cringe worthy moments by steering clear of these mistresses.


    Needs More Time With You Mistress                                  

    This mistress needs, not wants, more time with you. Signs that you’ve landed yourself this kind of mistress: endless calls and texts from her, no amount of time you spend together is enough, she has no hobbies and may be single.


    Can’t Keep A Secret Mistress

    If your mistress loves talking to you about everyone else’s business, then it’s likely she’s sharing yours with everyone else. While it might be fun to share a laugh, it’s not worth having your dirty laundry aired all over town.


    A Little Too Passionate Mistress

    This mistress is a refreshing when you first meet her, because she knows what she wants and tells it like it is. But beware: this means when you can’t give her what she wants, you’ll be on the receiving end of it. Suddenly, what was once sexy is now overbearing and suffocating.


    A Little Too Crazy Mistress

    Like the a little too crazy mistress, this mistress seems like a good idea at first. She’s got a lot of cute quirks and an air of mystery about her. She’s the queen of impromptu visits and surprise coffee dates. Sounds romantic? Maybe, but we’re thinking a few weeks later she might surprise you a little closer to home, and no one wants to deal with that kind of mess.


    At the end of the day, use your judgment and listen to your gut. If your mistress smells like trouble, she probably is. You need to be selective if you want to find a tryst-worthy mistress.


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  • Monday
    Mar 16,2015

    With all the cheat-talk going on around here, maybe it’s time to think about taking a healthy break from your relationship. Often times, bouts of fighting can lead to an overwhelming amount of screaming, crying, and disappointment. This type of behavior can be detrimental to rebuilding a relationship, since it often prevents meaningful communication.


    3 Months

    Take 3 months away from each other, and clearly delineate when your break will begin and end. This amount of time is enough to get over the initial loss and missing the other person. That is not to say, you will be entirely over the relationship. Take this time to do some proper reflection about what you want, and whether or not you can find it in your current relationship.


    No Communication

    The whole point of the break is to take some time away from the relationship, and if you are still communicating with your partner then it’s not really taking any time away even if you are not physically seeing each other. This means no phone calls, texts, or other means of communication. With social media being a predominant part of our lives, every effort must be made to avoid communication on these platforms as well.


    Moving Forward

    After your 3 months away are up, you will want to arrange a time to talk about your experiences being away from each other. We recommend arranging a time and place ahead of time, and 3 months is enough notice that you should not have other obligations. Some things you might want to discuss are: how you felt when the break started and ended; your experience during the break; and next steps. If you took the time to reflect during your break, this conversation will be productive and healthy.


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  • Thursday
    Feb 12,2015

    Later in the game, it’s clear that many couples don’t look forward to Valentine’s Day with the same intrigue and excitement that was so common in youth. The thoughtful curating of store bought Valentine’s cards to ensure that your best friends and crush had the better cards from the box. Fast forward to adulthood where boxed Valentine’s Day cards just won’t cut it, it’s become the norm to wine and dine your date and lavish them with jewelry and flowers. However, if you’re feeling a little conservative this year, try having a Valentine’s Day night in. It won’t break the bank, but the better bonus is knowing you won’t be caught out on the town with someone who doesn’t look like your wife.


    Make Dinner

     Cooking dinner can be simple if you choose a simple recipe from a credible food blog or magazine. Your affair partner will be impressed by the effort you went through to prepare them a meal, especially if they know cooking isn’t your forte. Light some candles, put some music on, and you’re ready to go.



    We’re not talking huge bouquets with an expensive vase here. We’re talking about flowers from the convenience store that you can unwrap and put into a glass that’s doing double duty as a vase tonight. Glad we’re on the same page.


    Have a Conversation 

    Think of a couple memorable moments you have had together, and share your feelings about them. We’re certain it will bring a couple of laughs and smiles to your faces. Soon, you’ll be falling in love all over again.

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